Another Late Night

And more success at disappointment. Whee! It's 2:42 AM as I begin this and a comedian is swearing on Comedy Central in the background. I don't know his name but I believe I've seen him before. That's me avoiding saying that I feel like I'm twelve kinds of fucked up right now. Full of anger. Maybe rage. Mostly directed at myself with a helping to spare for randos anywhere. Maybe my friends. Maybe females. I want to bleed right now.

Of course, nothing like that will happen. And whatever anger I feel will go away and not be directed at anyone in any way. Well, except maybe myself. But it'll only manifest as depression, guilt and more social suicide.

And I used to be so funny, right?

I can't remember when Comedy Central started showing comedy uncensored late at night, by the way. I like it and I don't. I'm like that.

My skull cups are falling apart, here and there. Small cracks, leaks, chips... I'll need to restock this year instead of just buying one or two each time I see 'em.

So, yeah, I'm depressed and angry. I fell apart so hard. I'm miserable. I've let down my friends, family and myself so damn much for so damn long. Ugh. So, I've hit bottom? Might as well be the bottom. My status has been unchanged for quite a while, what with no solid motivation to break through the gates of apathy. Just sitting here. Time passing. Faster and faster.

My dream of being a filmmaker is still that, just a dream. My idea for a television show would be a one-man-show from creation to guest stars. Makes sense though.

I watched Art School Confidential tonight. Easy two-star rating. It was bad. One part made me laugh hard. The rest was bad. The main character made the same faces at his love interest that Hayden Skywalker did.

Creepy.

I need to talk to my buddy Aaron to see if I can use his computer for a couple things. I can barely make this post with mine.

I did basically finish my Forged stage, though. Half Facility and half.... Something else. Hopefully all fun, though. And barely in time for a new game to be released that will eradicate all play on this one(or the ten other games coming out). Maybe my friends, who I never see anymore and who getting to play Halo with me is equivalent to pulling teeth, might actually play on it with me once. I'll just have to work on my "is it safe" quote ability.

I really hate that last sentence. And most of this post.

It doesn't surprise me that it's been more than a year since I've done anything here.

I love my spork.

Back to 24.

I'm out.